Dear Robin Roberts and ABC News,
It's been a little over a week since the Haiti earthquake rocked the capital, Port-au-Prince. It's good to know that you, Diane Sawyer, and the "others" are keeping things under control down there. Oh wait, you're not?
Well,thank you for still going through hair and make up at 5 am every day. I can only imagine how dire your situation is down there-the heat, the humidity, the smell of dead bodies. A far cry from the comforts of the New York office and studio.
I sleep better at night knowing that you still have some of the amenities from home, though. Food, water, SUV with tinted windows, and my favorite, Skype. Thank you for informing the American people that Haiti is currently without power, clean water, food, and much needed medical supplies. We had absolutely no idea. Thank for you repeating this every single night...I didn't watch the news on Monday, and nearly forgot. Thanks for reminding me, phew.
Thank you for showing immoderate levels of footage from the tarmac. Look at all of those planes FILLED with food, water, and medical supplies. Why are they just sitting there?! Oh, you just asked that same question...10 times. I'm sure it has absolutely nothing to do with the violence and acute unrest that is happening in the surrounding area. Are the volunteers just lazy? Why do you keep showing pictures of them just standing around the airport? Are they waiting for a bus, or maybe the US Military to arrive to secure the area before they deploy help. Nah...they are probably just lazy. Thank you for calling them out.
Robin, thank you for identifying an issue that matters most to the American people: a 4-year old Haitian girl named Esther. It was so very thoughtful of you to take time out of your busy report to seek out a child that is waiting to be adopted by a young couple from Pella, Iowa. A 5 minute segment would not have been nearly enough time to illustrate the emotion and delicacy of this dramatic situation. Thank you, and your producers, for dedicating SEVERAL nights to this matter. I think I can speak for the American People when I say, "Thank You". Thank you for focusing on the issues that matter MOST-getting Esther back to the United States.
How are you doing with the heat down there? Is your memory okay? I hope so. Just in case it's not, here is a clip for you to reference:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBGm0SSdUQU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60Uo0kDbSwk
My favorite part of your report was when you touched young Esther's back and said, "Mommy and Daddy love you, Esther. They said they are going to come to get you soon". You can't script that now, can you? Oh wait-you did? Oh...well, good delivery and tone, Robin.
I, along with millions of American viewers, formed quite the attachment to little Esther. I was not content in only knowing that Esther did not receive any injuries, was well cared for, and had clean water. I needed to know for CERTAIN that Eshter made it home with her adoptive parents...immediately.
Thank you for the live footage of Matt and Amy (Esther's soon to be parents), driving in an SUV to the American Embassy. I'm glad they got to "skip the line" when they arrived there. I heard thousands of people were waiting in line for days in the hot sun, without food or water. Golly-can you imagine? Good thing Esther did not have to go through that!
I found it interesting that your co-worker, Diane Sawyer, mentioned that some Haitians were outraged that rescue efforts were directed toward Hotel Montana, the UN, and other 'areas of interest' to The United States. I always thought a human life was a human life...
Tonight when you report, I look forward to hearing updates about little Esther and her new life in Pella, Iowa. While the camera pans over areas of destruction, human despair, and young children (parent-less and dying), amidst the rubble of Port-au-Prince, I hope it does not upset the American people too much. After all, we have "small victories" like Esther's to keep the faith, right?
Sincerely,
Rachel
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Monday, September 21, 2009
Songs that I SHOULD be embarrassed to admit that I love, but I'm not
1. Usher, "Dot Com"
I think the lyrics are 100% genius while being 110% cheesy. "Get on my laptop so I can download". REALLY, Usher? "Oh, I need your backspace in my life. Thank God you don't have a flat screen"
HAHA-LOVE IT. Seriously though, I absolutely LOVE this song. I just ignore the lyrics....
2. Britney Spears, "Don't let me be the last to know"
first-Britney is SMOKIN' HOT in this video. I actually bought that SAME white bikini in hopes I would wake up with rock hard abs-didn't work. Again-completely horrible song that I completely love.
3. Jessica Simpson, "I wanna love you forever"
This is STILL part of my "time to clean the house" playlist on my Ipod. Not only does it encourage sweeping, dusting, folding clothes, and softscrubbin' anything I can get my hands on...it encourages me to be in love. Maybe I should listen to it more. Great song....but I probably should have stopped listening to it back in 2000 when it stop being cool.
4. 112-"Cupid"
I still remember when I called up WJLB when I was like a freshman in high school to request this song on The Quiet Storm. The DJ goes, "Whats yo name", I said, "RACHEL", "Where you calling from girl?" and I said, "Troy"
"Detroit? What side, girl?"
"No, Troy"
He hung up on me, but still played my song.
5. 98 Degrees, "Invisible Man"
They were a boy band-enough said. Actually, allow me to elaborate. Next time I get invited to a cherades party, I will be sure to invite Nick Lachey-look at his arm movements. Over acting, Nick...calm down.
6. LFO,"Summer Girls"
Another boy band...another great song. In a REALLY REALLY lame way. "Chinese food makes me sick". Woooooooooooooooooooooooord.
7. Ace of Base, "The Sign"
I lip-synced this song at a summer camp AND convinced my whole 5th grade class that THIS was the BEST song to sign at our graduation ( I remember fighting with Terry Boyle about this one. He wanted Nirvana "come as you are".
8. Color Me Badd, "All 4 Love"
I LOVED this song when I was like 8. Upbeat-happy-makes ya wanna dance...even like 20 years later.
9. All Saints, "Never Ever"
I remember making my friends in high school listen to this....on my Sony Walkman. If you can get through the forced-awkward talking at the start of the song, it gets better. Kind of like high school.
10. Charles and Eddie, "Would I lie to you"
This one is dedicated to my best friend, Stephanie. This has been "our song" for as long as I can remember. I love you, Steph! NO CLUE why we love this song so much, but we do!
haha
11. London Beat, "I've been thinking about you"
I will forever love this song. "we must have been stone crazy, when we thought we were just friends". No kidding, guys...NO KIDDING. Love it.
12. *N Sync, "I want you back"
This song takes me back to 10th grade....right back. Right back to driving to Bagel Factory or Buddys Pizza for lunch. Writing notes in Flex with Jenny Wu. My purple sparkly eye shadow. Mudd Jeans. WOW. I STILL love this song....I want it back.
13. Hot Boys, "I need a hot girl"
All I gotta say about this one is "PHG". Right, Wu Thang?
14. Anita Ward, "Ring My Bell"
This is not a joke. I love this song. "YOU CAN RING MY BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL, ring my bell"
I actually requested this song at a club in South Beach....guess what, THEY PLAYED IT!
RING RING, Bitches.
15. Blackstreet, "No Diggity"
No doubt.
16. Geto Boys, "G Code"
This is the song that finds it's way to most of my mix cds...and when stopped at a red light, I turn this ish down. WAY DOWN!.....like, scene from Office Space-down.
In the privacy of my own home...well...."we don't trust in the judicial system, we shoot guns" Awesome.
17. Limp Bizkit, "Nookie"
This song reminds me of my sister's old bedroom. We were obsessed with this song...
I mean, "are" obsessed.
18. Mandy Moore, "I wanna be with you"
I'm not going to apologize-I still think this song is great. I love Mandy Moore.
19. Kelis, "Milkshake"
la-la-la-la-la, the boys are waiting.
My goodness, girl...pure grime. I LOVE it.
20. Enrique, "Bailamos"
This song is STILL hot in my book. Honestly, one of the sexiest songs ever. Reminds me of summer of 2001...GOOD times :)
I think the lyrics are 100% genius while being 110% cheesy. "Get on my laptop so I can download". REALLY, Usher? "Oh, I need your backspace in my life. Thank God you don't have a flat screen"
HAHA-LOVE IT. Seriously though, I absolutely LOVE this song. I just ignore the lyrics....
2. Britney Spears, "Don't let me be the last to know"
first-Britney is SMOKIN' HOT in this video. I actually bought that SAME white bikini in hopes I would wake up with rock hard abs-didn't work. Again-completely horrible song that I completely love.
3. Jessica Simpson, "I wanna love you forever"
This is STILL part of my "time to clean the house" playlist on my Ipod. Not only does it encourage sweeping, dusting, folding clothes, and softscrubbin' anything I can get my hands on...it encourages me to be in love. Maybe I should listen to it more. Great song....but I probably should have stopped listening to it back in 2000 when it stop being cool.
4. 112-"Cupid"
I still remember when I called up WJLB when I was like a freshman in high school to request this song on The Quiet Storm. The DJ goes, "Whats yo name", I said, "RACHEL", "Where you calling from girl?" and I said, "Troy"
"Detroit? What side, girl?"
"No, Troy"
He hung up on me, but still played my song.
5. 98 Degrees, "Invisible Man"
They were a boy band-enough said. Actually, allow me to elaborate. Next time I get invited to a cherades party, I will be sure to invite Nick Lachey-look at his arm movements. Over acting, Nick...calm down.
6. LFO,"Summer Girls"
Another boy band...another great song. In a REALLY REALLY lame way. "Chinese food makes me sick". Woooooooooooooooooooooooord.
7. Ace of Base, "The Sign"
I lip-synced this song at a summer camp AND convinced my whole 5th grade class that THIS was the BEST song to sign at our graduation ( I remember fighting with Terry Boyle about this one. He wanted Nirvana "come as you are".
8. Color Me Badd, "All 4 Love"
I LOVED this song when I was like 8. Upbeat-happy-makes ya wanna dance...even like 20 years later.
9. All Saints, "Never Ever"
I remember making my friends in high school listen to this....on my Sony Walkman. If you can get through the forced-awkward talking at the start of the song, it gets better. Kind of like high school.
10. Charles and Eddie, "Would I lie to you"
This one is dedicated to my best friend, Stephanie. This has been "our song" for as long as I can remember. I love you, Steph! NO CLUE why we love this song so much, but we do!
haha
11. London Beat, "I've been thinking about you"
I will forever love this song. "we must have been stone crazy, when we thought we were just friends". No kidding, guys...NO KIDDING. Love it.
12. *N Sync, "I want you back"
This song takes me back to 10th grade....right back. Right back to driving to Bagel Factory or Buddys Pizza for lunch. Writing notes in Flex with Jenny Wu. My purple sparkly eye shadow. Mudd Jeans. WOW. I STILL love this song....I want it back.
13. Hot Boys, "I need a hot girl"
All I gotta say about this one is "PHG". Right, Wu Thang?
14. Anita Ward, "Ring My Bell"
This is not a joke. I love this song. "YOU CAN RING MY BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL, ring my bell"
I actually requested this song at a club in South Beach....guess what, THEY PLAYED IT!
RING RING, Bitches.
15. Blackstreet, "No Diggity"
No doubt.
16. Geto Boys, "G Code"
This is the song that finds it's way to most of my mix cds...and when stopped at a red light, I turn this ish down. WAY DOWN!.....like, scene from Office Space-down.
In the privacy of my own home...well...."we don't trust in the judicial system, we shoot guns" Awesome.
17. Limp Bizkit, "Nookie"
This song reminds me of my sister's old bedroom. We were obsessed with this song...
I mean, "are" obsessed.
18. Mandy Moore, "I wanna be with you"
I'm not going to apologize-I still think this song is great. I love Mandy Moore.
19. Kelis, "Milkshake"
la-la-la-la-la, the boys are waiting.
My goodness, girl...pure grime. I LOVE it.
20. Enrique, "Bailamos"
This song is STILL hot in my book. Honestly, one of the sexiest songs ever. Reminds me of summer of 2001...GOOD times :)
Songs that take me back
Most of the events, places, and people that I hold near to my heart, I recall by smell and song. Many don't believe me when I say I can recall scents-but I can. I remember scents of London, my college dorm hallway, his car, my Opa, my old house, etc. Literally, when I hear certain songs, they take me right back to that moment in time. Regardless of what I'm doing, where I am, or how long it has been...I go back.
Here are some of those songs:
1. Toca's Miracle-Fragma
Winter of 2001-heard this song in Rome. EVERYTHING comes back when I hear this song: the lady at the Diesel store that refused to let me try on a white shirt because she was afraid my make up would rub off. I was wearing nothing but mascara. The hot special forces guy I met from Texas, on his way to Croatia. The pub crawl we took with my Aunt Gayle. The pistachio gelato I ordered at this small shop near the Spanish Steps. The black cats around the Coliseum. Everything. I go back.
2. Yellow Ledbetter-Pearl Jam
This song wraps up 6th-8th grade. While I do my best to block those wonderful years out of my memory, this song always remains. I would put this song on repeat on my Sony CD player, which took up half of my dresser, and would put this song on repeat as I read, "Lord of the Flies", "Hatchet", and did last minute reports on John Lennon, Spotted Owls, and Voyage of the Mimi. I love this song almost as much as the man who sings it.
3. Shawty-Plies
I know, don't hate, don't judge, and don't repeat this. I flippin' LOVE this jam. This song represents one of the best summers of my life-sushi with Simona everyday, Vince (it was fun at the time), and laying out by the pool every single day. I went through some major mental AND physical changes that summer...gooooooood times. This song immediately takes me back to SPF15, jean cut offs, and ZERO responsibilities.
4. What's Love-Fat Joe w/ Ashanti
The first time I heard this song, I was at a Pimps and Ho's Party at Stanford visiting Steph. All I recall is a lot of black lights, tin foil, and me being...........well.....um, it was a theme party so I went with it. The best memory of this song is Steph and I thinking it was called, "LAST NIIIIIGHT". I still throw this song on my, "Time to get ready to go out" playlist.
5. Stay or Leave-Dave Matthews
(sigh)..........................(sigh)...........................(sigh)
I have no comment. Still heart broken. (sigh)
6. 1, 2, 3...Gloria Estefan
Just let me complete the sentence. I was setting green beans on the kitchen table at my grandparents house. This song. I don't know. No other explanation. I was 3 at the time.
7. The Chokin' Kind-Joss Stone
April of 2005. Townsend Hotel. Mitchell's Fish Market. Lenny's Kravitz. Lenny's personal (very personal) trainer. Miami. (sigh). That is all.
8. Across the Universe-The Beatles
Family road trip to visit family in Ontario. We listened to the Black or ...was it the White Album? Regardless, this is the song I remember most. Driving in my Dad's Silver 850 Turbo..the smell of the car, Julie and I in the backseat, windows down..........this song. I was 11
9. Tearin' Up My Heart-* N Sync
Flex. Jenny Wu. Troy High parties. Me dancing in front of my bedroom, bathroom, and the MASSIVE-dance studio-like mirrors in the living room. I thought Justin was the best thing since Lip Smackers and colored contacts. So happy that phase only lasted 2 weeks.....the colored contacts, I still rep the Smackers.
....okay, you know what-my boys deserve some more face time. Please note Justin's "Ryan Phillipe moment"
Oh yes, there is more.
I can't promise you that they are actually singing, but who the hell cares....it was love.
Um, do you have to ask me twice? NO. I mean, YES. YES I WILL BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND. "I ain't shooting game, boo. I'm just tellin' ya how I feel".
WORD.
10. The Scientist-Coldplay
Nobody ever said it was easy.....and it's not. But, I still love this song.
Here are some of those songs:
1. Toca's Miracle-Fragma
Winter of 2001-heard this song in Rome. EVERYTHING comes back when I hear this song: the lady at the Diesel store that refused to let me try on a white shirt because she was afraid my make up would rub off. I was wearing nothing but mascara. The hot special forces guy I met from Texas, on his way to Croatia. The pub crawl we took with my Aunt Gayle. The pistachio gelato I ordered at this small shop near the Spanish Steps. The black cats around the Coliseum. Everything. I go back.
2. Yellow Ledbetter-Pearl Jam
This song wraps up 6th-8th grade. While I do my best to block those wonderful years out of my memory, this song always remains. I would put this song on repeat on my Sony CD player, which took up half of my dresser, and would put this song on repeat as I read, "Lord of the Flies", "Hatchet", and did last minute reports on John Lennon, Spotted Owls, and Voyage of the Mimi. I love this song almost as much as the man who sings it.
3. Shawty-Plies
I know, don't hate, don't judge, and don't repeat this. I flippin' LOVE this jam. This song represents one of the best summers of my life-sushi with Simona everyday, Vince (it was fun at the time), and laying out by the pool every single day. I went through some major mental AND physical changes that summer...gooooooood times. This song immediately takes me back to SPF15, jean cut offs, and ZERO responsibilities.
4. What's Love-Fat Joe w/ Ashanti
The first time I heard this song, I was at a Pimps and Ho's Party at Stanford visiting Steph. All I recall is a lot of black lights, tin foil, and me being...........well.....um, it was a theme party so I went with it. The best memory of this song is Steph and I thinking it was called, "LAST NIIIIIGHT". I still throw this song on my, "Time to get ready to go out" playlist.
5. Stay or Leave-Dave Matthews
(sigh)..........................(sigh)...........................(sigh)
I have no comment. Still heart broken. (sigh)
6. 1, 2, 3...Gloria Estefan
Just let me complete the sentence. I was setting green beans on the kitchen table at my grandparents house. This song. I don't know. No other explanation. I was 3 at the time.
7. The Chokin' Kind-Joss Stone
April of 2005. Townsend Hotel. Mitchell's Fish Market. Lenny's Kravitz. Lenny's personal (very personal) trainer. Miami. (sigh). That is all.
8. Across the Universe-The Beatles
Family road trip to visit family in Ontario. We listened to the Black or ...was it the White Album? Regardless, this is the song I remember most. Driving in my Dad's Silver 850 Turbo..the smell of the car, Julie and I in the backseat, windows down..........this song. I was 11
9. Tearin' Up My Heart-* N Sync
Flex. Jenny Wu. Troy High parties. Me dancing in front of my bedroom, bathroom, and the MASSIVE-dance studio-like mirrors in the living room. I thought Justin was the best thing since Lip Smackers and colored contacts. So happy that phase only lasted 2 weeks.....the colored contacts, I still rep the Smackers.
....okay, you know what-my boys deserve some more face time. Please note Justin's "Ryan Phillipe moment"
Oh yes, there is more.
I can't promise you that they are actually singing, but who the hell cares....it was love.
Um, do you have to ask me twice? NO. I mean, YES. YES I WILL BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND. "I ain't shooting game, boo. I'm just tellin' ya how I feel".
WORD.
10. The Scientist-Coldplay
Nobody ever said it was easy.....and it's not. But, I still love this song.
Monday, July 27, 2009
"THE HOT ISSUE" is not the issue
How he tilts his head hints at what's going on inside it. The hair moves guys can't resist. 10 things guys wish you knew. The stalking danger you don't expect.
Excerpt from a romance novel? No. Try the table of contents of this month's Cosmo issue.
I feel like I read Cosmo far more when I was 17 and should have been reading, well, Seventeen. I recently picked up a copy, NO idea why. I also bought a bag of sour Skittles. Again, very unlike me. So maybe there was something that inspired me between the citronella candles and the candy to pick up an issue of Cosmopolitan, "The Hot Issue". Really? Like, other issues of the magazine compare to Martha Stewart Living and Newsweek? What I want to know is, how do they NOT run out of "10 ways to drive him crazy". After years of "ways", doesn't that add up to THOUSANDS of ways to "drive him crazy". Guys are not that complicated, physically...I can think of one way that usually works. I won't charge you $4.79 for the tip, either.
As I skimmed through the pages, all I really saw were advertisements for lotion, hair products, and birth control. But after digging through all of the glossy pages of beautiful hair and unattainable legs without cellulite, I finally made it to the horoscope section.
Aquarius: Don't commit to any long-range plans (like a winter vacation); your priorities will shift under the changeable Moon on the 14th. Nasty rumors about your ex are not true (great, NOW you tell me?), so be the bigger person and don't spread the dirt.
Dating Tip: Impetuous Mars sparks a red-hot attraction with a friend of a friend. Your heart will literally pound when you lock eyes. Get your flirt on because he feels it too.
Love Advice: Expansive Jupiter makes you crave erotic encores. Giving him o**l will help get him up to speed for round two.
I mean, REALLY people? How about you do whatever the heck you want to or do not want to do in round one and if he still likes you then GREAT! But kudos for putting the WHORE in Horoscope. Well done.
The Cosmo quiz this month is "Are you good-girl hot or bad-girl hot". Look I don't care if you think I'm good OR bad...just as long as you think I'm hot. Please. This magazine, essentially, after all the tips for hair, make up, how to walk, talk, think, wear a padded bra, and flirt DOES offer ways to fend off stalkers (page 133). After you make yourself hot you will have THOUSANDS of suitors and stalkers....so, they even have us covered there, ladies. Good to know, good to know.
EVEN THE DRINKS are "sexy" in Cosmo. Oh yes, check out page 206. "Summer's Sexiest Drinks". WHAT? At least have sexy names like Sex on the Beach, Red-headed Slut, or the like. WHAT is sexy about Lemon Ice or an Orange Creamsicle. Anyone? Nothing. There is nothing "sexy" about them.
In the "Love & Lust" section, on page 117, Cosmo gives us tips on "How to Get Hit on ALL the Time". This was great. Absolutely amazing. Considering that they assume you will be at a bar when you get "hit on", shouldn't we ALSO assume that alcohol is involved? Want to get hit on ladies? Just go to Black Finn. Really doesn't matter what you look like, what you are wearing, how you flip your hair, or play with the rim of your glass with your finger...some guy will find you hot. I promise. But, just in case you need more guidance on how to handle a guy that hits on you...check this out...
Cosmo is recommending you say...."Thanks. I'd love a drink. I was having pinot grigio", not this, "I don't know what to get-ask the bartender for me! But nothing with too many calories".
My name is Rachel Reed, and this is what I think when a guy offers to buy me a drink (assuming I just met him). I first think...what's in it for him. If I'm already buzzed, is he hoping this next drink puts me over the edge, thus in turn increasing the odds of him getting "lucky". Whatever "lucky" means. I think you're lucky if I give you more than 15 seconds of my time when I'm out with my friends...but....maybe others have a different opinion. But next time I'm at happy hour, I'll be sure to take Cosmo's advice and play with my shoe with my toes...sounds like a balancing act to me. But what if someone offers to buy me a glass of wine? AH! I won't be able to balance my shoe after a few of those...oh no...NOW what? While you can say the not-so-witty two liners that Cosmo recommends, I suggest politely declining. If you don't take candy from strangers, why would you accept a drink from one? I was munching on carrots and ranch dressing at a local bar one night...why didn't someone offer me another round of baby carrots? Why? Because you can't get drunk off baby carrots. Jury is still out regarding ranch dressing. Therefore, call me a man-hater, jaded, or cynical...when a stranger (man) offers to buy me a drink I assume he wants to get in my pants. Otherwise, he would have offered to buy me baby carrots or cover my parking fee from the structure.
My all-time favorite section from this month's Cosmo is on page 106, "He's Perfect, But..."
For example, "He's perfect, but he wears fugly man jewelry". The Fix? "Next time he wears his flair, enlist a girlfriend to poke fun at him gently by saying, 'I could have sworn I saw that at a women's store at the mall. Is that where you got it?"
WOW! Great idea, guys (or should I say, girls). Let's hurt his feelings. Perfect. Not only will he get upset from the comment, he will most likely think your enlisted girlfriend is a bitch.
"He quotes movies 24/7" The fix? "Say in a joking manner, let me take you to the movies so you can get some new lines". Look, if you REALLY like the guy enough to date him...odds are, you will also know the movies he adores because hopefully you enjoy them too. Finish his lines. But what do I know, right?
To dedicate 4 pages on how to "change" your boyfriend completely baffles me. Why would you want to change him when you just spent hours reading 195 pages about how 10-sure ways to attract him , 101 ways to please him, and 4 words that will keep him. I mean, right?
Excerpt from a romance novel? No. Try the table of contents of this month's Cosmo issue.
I feel like I read Cosmo far more when I was 17 and should have been reading, well, Seventeen. I recently picked up a copy, NO idea why. I also bought a bag of sour Skittles. Again, very unlike me. So maybe there was something that inspired me between the citronella candles and the candy to pick up an issue of Cosmopolitan, "The Hot Issue". Really? Like, other issues of the magazine compare to Martha Stewart Living and Newsweek? What I want to know is, how do they NOT run out of "10 ways to drive him crazy". After years of "ways", doesn't that add up to THOUSANDS of ways to "drive him crazy". Guys are not that complicated, physically...I can think of one way that usually works. I won't charge you $4.79 for the tip, either.
As I skimmed through the pages, all I really saw were advertisements for lotion, hair products, and birth control. But after digging through all of the glossy pages of beautiful hair and unattainable legs without cellulite, I finally made it to the horoscope section.
Aquarius: Don't commit to any long-range plans (like a winter vacation); your priorities will shift under the changeable Moon on the 14th. Nasty rumors about your ex are not true (great, NOW you tell me?), so be the bigger person and don't spread the dirt.
Dating Tip: Impetuous Mars sparks a red-hot attraction with a friend of a friend. Your heart will literally pound when you lock eyes. Get your flirt on because he feels it too.
Love Advice: Expansive Jupiter makes you crave erotic encores. Giving him o**l will help get him up to speed for round two.
I mean, REALLY people? How about you do whatever the heck you want to or do not want to do in round one and if he still likes you then GREAT! But kudos for putting the WHORE in Horoscope. Well done.
The Cosmo quiz this month is "Are you good-girl hot or bad-girl hot". Look I don't care if you think I'm good OR bad...just as long as you think I'm hot. Please. This magazine, essentially, after all the tips for hair, make up, how to walk, talk, think, wear a padded bra, and flirt DOES offer ways to fend off stalkers (page 133). After you make yourself hot you will have THOUSANDS of suitors and stalkers....so, they even have us covered there, ladies. Good to know, good to know.
EVEN THE DRINKS are "sexy" in Cosmo. Oh yes, check out page 206. "Summer's Sexiest Drinks". WHAT? At least have sexy names like Sex on the Beach, Red-headed Slut, or the like. WHAT is sexy about Lemon Ice or an Orange Creamsicle. Anyone? Nothing. There is nothing "sexy" about them.
In the "Love & Lust" section, on page 117, Cosmo gives us tips on "How to Get Hit on ALL the Time". This was great. Absolutely amazing. Considering that they assume you will be at a bar when you get "hit on", shouldn't we ALSO assume that alcohol is involved? Want to get hit on ladies? Just go to Black Finn. Really doesn't matter what you look like, what you are wearing, how you flip your hair, or play with the rim of your glass with your finger...some guy will find you hot. I promise. But, just in case you need more guidance on how to handle a guy that hits on you...check this out...
Cosmo is recommending you say...."Thanks. I'd love a drink. I was having pinot grigio", not this, "I don't know what to get-ask the bartender for me! But nothing with too many calories".
My name is Rachel Reed, and this is what I think when a guy offers to buy me a drink (assuming I just met him). I first think...what's in it for him. If I'm already buzzed, is he hoping this next drink puts me over the edge, thus in turn increasing the odds of him getting "lucky". Whatever "lucky" means. I think you're lucky if I give you more than 15 seconds of my time when I'm out with my friends...but....maybe others have a different opinion. But next time I'm at happy hour, I'll be sure to take Cosmo's advice and play with my shoe with my toes...sounds like a balancing act to me. But what if someone offers to buy me a glass of wine? AH! I won't be able to balance my shoe after a few of those...oh no...NOW what? While you can say the not-so-witty two liners that Cosmo recommends, I suggest politely declining. If you don't take candy from strangers, why would you accept a drink from one? I was munching on carrots and ranch dressing at a local bar one night...why didn't someone offer me another round of baby carrots? Why? Because you can't get drunk off baby carrots. Jury is still out regarding ranch dressing. Therefore, call me a man-hater, jaded, or cynical...when a stranger (man) offers to buy me a drink I assume he wants to get in my pants. Otherwise, he would have offered to buy me baby carrots or cover my parking fee from the structure.
My all-time favorite section from this month's Cosmo is on page 106, "He's Perfect, But..."
For example, "He's perfect, but he wears fugly man jewelry". The Fix? "Next time he wears his flair, enlist a girlfriend to poke fun at him gently by saying, 'I could have sworn I saw that at a women's store at the mall. Is that where you got it?"
WOW! Great idea, guys (or should I say, girls). Let's hurt his feelings. Perfect. Not only will he get upset from the comment, he will most likely think your enlisted girlfriend is a bitch.
"He quotes movies 24/7" The fix? "Say in a joking manner, let me take you to the movies so you can get some new lines". Look, if you REALLY like the guy enough to date him...odds are, you will also know the movies he adores because hopefully you enjoy them too. Finish his lines. But what do I know, right?
To dedicate 4 pages on how to "change" your boyfriend completely baffles me. Why would you want to change him when you just spent hours reading 195 pages about how 10-sure ways to attract him , 101 ways to please him, and 4 words that will keep him. I mean, right?
Thursday, June 25, 2009
no title, sorry.
While cleaning out my basement last week, I literally walked into a box of "old" movies. What movie was on the top? "Before Sunset". I forgot how much I absolutely love that movie. When people ask what my favorite movies are, I usually respond with the obvious: Best in Show, Home Alone, Just Friends, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Swingers, etc. Before Sunset and Before Sunrise (really feels like one whole movie), are both excellent flicks. I watched both, back to back, a few nights ago. Could relate a little more to the storyline now than ever before. Can't really explain why....it's just weird.
I'm REALLY hoping for a third to come out. I need closure and Ethan Hawke is still a babe.
That is all.
Favorite part of Before Sunrise
Favorite part of Before Sunset
I'm REALLY hoping for a third to come out. I need closure and Ethan Hawke is still a babe.
That is all.
Favorite part of Before Sunrise
Favorite part of Before Sunset
Monday, June 8, 2009
Lights, Camera....act sad.
I'm trying to think of the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to me. I think it is a tie between trying on a cute dress I couldn't manage to zip up and button, and breaking up with my first love. Regardless, try to recall the most depressing or unexpected bad thing that has happened to you. If you are like me, it was probably hard to talk without crying...
I had countless conversations with my parents, on their family room couch, petting the dog, SO distraught I could not even manage to mumble "I don't want to talk about it". Like when I found out my Opa passed away, unexpectedly. You completely break down. I broke down for months (even now), when I saw an accordion, Stroh's beer, or see my Oma (completely heartbroken).
Here is my point. I'm a very open person, and rarely am I speechless. However, I know for a FACT that if my child (I don't have one yet, but I can only imagine) was kidnapped and murdered I would NOT be going on local OR national television to talk about it.
While not all families have the luxury of hiring a PR person to handle crisis situations and to "speak on behalf of the family", I don't think it's ever appropriate for grieving people to go on TV and state the obvious.
"We are very sad. I want my daughter back", says a mourning Father...minutes after the ambulance takes his daughter's body away.
"He was SUCH a good student. Star athlete" , claims an Uncle of a 14 year old, killed by a hit and run driver.
"Who would have done this to my son?" , asks a sobbing Mother...in her front yard, as police wrap yellow tape connecting trees to the porch.
Rarely will you see a resident of an affluent community speak to the media regarding tragic situations, especially involving family members. It seems, to me anyway, that most people that talk to the media after TRAGIC situations are from very poor areas. If the previous statement is true, why is this?
You could argue that most people embrace public recognition regardless of the circumstances. Or that we are all just looking for our "15 minutes". Maybe people feel obligated to speak to the media, since they are pounding on their front door just minutes after the family learns of their Daughter's tragic death.
I will NEVER forget driving down Auburn Road, between Crooks and Adams, and seeing one of the most disturbing sights EVER: mangled metal, that was once a boy's Huffy. A small tennis shoe, resting alone, feet away from the wreckage. You could still hear faint sirens in the distance. There was a Channel 4 van, parked in the driveway...reporter with notepad in hand, making her way to the front porch. Brownie points for being FIRST ON THE SCENE, Ruth...but at what cost? I mean, right?
How can "they", the "media", do such things? Is everything a story? Are some tales better left untold?
Neveah, the beautiful little girl from Monroe, has been plastered on billboards, the news, local publications, and on anything with a canvas. It clearly "made national news". The Mother of the slain little girl was on Nancy Grace (who is quite possibly one of the most annoying people...ever).
Here is some footage:
My first question: Why. WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY did this woman think it was a wise decision to go on NATIONAL television to "clear up rumors". Let me remind you...YOUR YOUNG DAUGHTER WAS ABDUCTED UNDER YOUR CARE AND WAS MURDERED. Do the rumors really matter? Wait a year, write a book...watch it climb on the NY Best Sellers list and reap all the benefits of going "global" with your sorrow.
I am not going to slam her for being void of emotion. We all handle tragedy differently. I'm completely inconsolable when tragedy strikes me or my family. Not all people are, and that's fine. She, her friend, and the child's Uncle all seem like they are, in a sick way, enjoying speaking to the media. I mean, right?
Watch it again...........
RIGHT? Lit Marlboro in hand, he should have been holding a Tim Horton's coffee in the other. Do they just not know any better? I could understand going on national television to beg the American public to assist in searching for her daughter. Or, after a criminal sentence, holding a press conference to "close the case".
"While we are sad we lost our daughter, we are pleased the killer was found and will spend the rest of his life behind bars". Boom. Done. Official statement. The end.
I cannot tolerate people/families that build relationships with local media to exploit tragic situations by turning them into an pseudo episode of Maury Povich or Montell. I do not think there is a direct relation between class and economic status. We all know wealthy people that are jerks and some of the nicest people I know are completely broke. Class is a mindset, but it seems that most people that elect to go on TV to discuss personal, tragic matters...are simply misguided and ignorant. Shame on the media for taking advantage of the ignorance of others. Shame on the families for subjecting their loved ones to more scrutiny. Shame on "us" for watching this garbage.
Speaking of which....anyone see the last episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8? I should have TIVO'd it.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Can you please save MY seat?
Things were a bit crazy today at my local grocery store. People buying last minute condiments and ice for family parties, backyard BBQ's, and bonfires for the holiday. I slowly drove up and down each aisle (is that what you call rows in parking lots?). Let me try that one again....
I drove up and down each row in the parking lot. We all know the signs to look for and the odds that each one of the following offers for a valued spot.
1. Mother walking with her kid(s) and a shopping basket. If the kids are old enough to walk on their own, this is the most ideal situation that involves kids. If the mom is smart, she will have her kids help load the groceries into the car. If the kid(s) are in a stroller or seated in the front of the shopping cart....continue driving. You are better off parking in the back of the lot and walking. That was sexist of me. This scenario can also be "Father walking with kids".
2. A single person with a single bag. Hands down best scenario. UNLESS the person has an arm extended, gripping their keys and looking dumbfounded. How can you forget where you parked? Actually, I'm usually that idiot walking around aimlessly. Be courteous and make it known you are lost. * Not the best decision if you are in a bad neighborhood. Always walk with a purpose, even if you don't know where you parked. Others don't need to know that*
3. The weave-and-walk shopper. You all know who you are and we hate you. If you forgot where you parked, that is completely okay. However, please see above....please extend your arm and at least pretend to hit the "panic" button on your key fab. This immediately lets everyone else know that you do NOT know where your car is. It could take a while. Continue driving, move on...
The people that CHOOSE to walk in between cars and through rows are annoying and pretty inconsiderate. You KNOW where your car is parked, but rather than walking in strategic, reasonable, and obvious routes, YOU think it's more fun to deliberately walk like you are in a corn maze. You get more "what the hell" points, if you continue this behavior when a car is clearly "stalking" you in the lot. At least have the decency to acknowledge them and point toward the direction of your car. You get brownie points if you mouth, "I'm the red Explorer". Or, "I'm not leaving". You know, REALLY shake your head side to side...exaggerate the "NOT" in leaving.
4. Plants and other Awkward Cargo. This one is obvious. Don't bother following people pushing 2 by 4's or pine trees...it WILL take a while. However, if you are really bored, it's often entertaining to watch how the common consumer tries to tie down a king mattress to the hood of a small car. Delivery is usually only $50.00, and it's typically worth it, people. Most of us get a kick out of passing you on the road. We really appreciate your arm sticking out the window and gripping whatever is on top. Like your hand is really going to hold down drywall, buddy.
I follow the "3-row rule" (actually, I made that up). You drive down only 3 rows. If you do not find a spot or a person that falls into one of the "good scenarios" within that area...drive to the back of the lot and walk. Unless you have a sprained ankle or need to return a washing machine, walking is usually the best bet. You will be in the store and trying on that cute wedge in a size 8 before most idiots out in the lot put their car in "P".
Now that we have gone over the basics, here is where the real problem lies. The feeling of entitlement and ownership of "public space" in this country baffles me. How many times have you said (sometimes in nicer words than others), "HEY LADY, you took MY spot!". Not to sound like a 5-year old, but I have to ask...was your name on it? Nooooooo. What qualified that spot to be "yours"?
As I was inching down one of the rows in the parking lot at Kroger this afternoon, I followed the best scenario. A young guy was walking out with a case of beer (I guess that is a good scenario in more ways than one, but anyway). He was parked in the first spot next to a handicapped spot. I was driving toward the store, following him from the "front" if you will. I immediately put my turn signal on, and as he pulled out, a dark blue minivan turned the corner like a crazy mom out of a PTSA meeting, and slid into "my spot". No turn signal. No regard for the safety of shoppers. And certainly did not acknowledge me waiting and my intent to drive into the spot. I intentionally waited there until the driver got out of the van. "PSh. I thought to myself. You can have "my" spot. You AND your "I love my Pug" t-shirt. Loser. I felt better in knowing I was better than her in little ways, my car being one of them. Isn't it funny how we do that? If she was in a REALLY nice car, I would have said.."Who do you think you are? Just because you drive a Range Rover you think you own the lot?", opposed to, "Wow. You can take your old beat up Kia and HAVE my spot". I'm amazed with how angry I get when someone takes "my spot". But, what can you do? Chase her into the store like a crazy person, yelling foul words? Flick her off? Scowl at her? Honk your horn? I mean, right?
Kroger owns that space. While maybe 1/10th of a cent that you are spending on that half gallon of 2% may go to maintaining that "space"...it is far from "yours". Yes, I know you shop there every single Sunday, but again...NOT your space.
This phenomenon extends deeper into society then shopping malls and grocery stores. Private ownership of public space occurs at sporting events, movie theaters, planes, waiting rooms, casinos, and restaurants.
How many of us have asked a COMPLETE stranger next to us in Gate C15, "Hey, would you mind watching my stuff while I go to the restroom?". "Sure, no problem", they always say back. Why don't more people respond with, "I'm not so sure I feel comfortable to be responsible for your belongings while you pee". People leave the well-being of their laptops, carry on's, food, guitars, etc. in the hands of complete strangers! The ONLY thing you have in common with this person is your 5:44 flight from DTW to LGA. I mean, right?
What these people are "watching" is not necessarily just your copy of Cosmo or your Northface fleece.What they are doing, in essence, is holding "your" seat. Same with movie theaters. "You go get the popcorn and Sour Patch Kids and I will save you a seat". Seinfeld had a great episode on this...saving seats in theaters. What gives YOU the right to "hold" a seat for someone else and, furthermore, who decided that a jacket or sweater was the universally recognized garment for "occupied". Seats taken, can't sit here.
How about at bars. I was at Memphis Smoke last night, up on the roof. Place was PACKED. My group eyed the crowds and the picnic tables that were scattered around the patio. Most of these tables could comfortably sit 8, but many only had 3 or 4 people present. My sister looked at me and said..."Why don't we try to sit next to those guys. There are only two of them and they have that big table". It worked. They were cool about it, until our guy friends sat down. My sister's words? "Hey, do you guys mind sharing your table?". It's not THEIR table, though. I mean, right? They didn't pay for it. Did they make it? No.
Sporting events and concerts are no exception. You don't OWN that seat, you are simply "renting" it for an agreed amount of time and/or conditions. Usually, if it's reserved seating you are okay. General admission? Gooooood luck. There is essentially nothing stopping anyone from "taking" your seat. I don't care how many times your friend says, "she will be right back". Is this an American thing or a universal practice? I'm confused.
If it's an American thing, then I think we can guess where it originated from. By default I think "we" feel a sense of entitlement and/or ownership. The American "seat" was essentially already taken when the pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock. * I know the pilgrims were NOT the first people to "discover" America. For the sake of fluidity and argument, just go with it*. The Native Americans were just that...native (at least MORE native than those that followed). They had their jacket on the seat. The WHOLE lot was filled with their cars. I mean, right? Apparently, they were in a tow-away zone. Doesn't really seem fair, eh?
Or, maybe it's human nature to have the "mine" mentality. "That's MY seat. That's MY parking spot. That's MY table." What makes it yours? What are the terms of this temporary ownership?
Were we always like this? Will we change? Is this even a bad thing?
I drove up and down each row in the parking lot. We all know the signs to look for and the odds that each one of the following offers for a valued spot.
1. Mother walking with her kid(s) and a shopping basket. If the kids are old enough to walk on their own, this is the most ideal situation that involves kids. If the mom is smart, she will have her kids help load the groceries into the car. If the kid(s) are in a stroller or seated in the front of the shopping cart....continue driving. You are better off parking in the back of the lot and walking. That was sexist of me. This scenario can also be "Father walking with kids".
2. A single person with a single bag. Hands down best scenario. UNLESS the person has an arm extended, gripping their keys and looking dumbfounded. How can you forget where you parked? Actually, I'm usually that idiot walking around aimlessly. Be courteous and make it known you are lost. * Not the best decision if you are in a bad neighborhood. Always walk with a purpose, even if you don't know where you parked. Others don't need to know that*
3. The weave-and-walk shopper. You all know who you are and we hate you. If you forgot where you parked, that is completely okay. However, please see above....please extend your arm and at least pretend to hit the "panic" button on your key fab. This immediately lets everyone else know that you do NOT know where your car is. It could take a while. Continue driving, move on...
The people that CHOOSE to walk in between cars and through rows are annoying and pretty inconsiderate. You KNOW where your car is parked, but rather than walking in strategic, reasonable, and obvious routes, YOU think it's more fun to deliberately walk like you are in a corn maze. You get more "what the hell" points, if you continue this behavior when a car is clearly "stalking" you in the lot. At least have the decency to acknowledge them and point toward the direction of your car. You get brownie points if you mouth, "I'm the red Explorer". Or, "I'm not leaving". You know, REALLY shake your head side to side...exaggerate the "NOT" in leaving.
4. Plants and other Awkward Cargo. This one is obvious. Don't bother following people pushing 2 by 4's or pine trees...it WILL take a while. However, if you are really bored, it's often entertaining to watch how the common consumer tries to tie down a king mattress to the hood of a small car. Delivery is usually only $50.00, and it's typically worth it, people. Most of us get a kick out of passing you on the road. We really appreciate your arm sticking out the window and gripping whatever is on top. Like your hand is really going to hold down drywall, buddy.
I follow the "3-row rule" (actually, I made that up). You drive down only 3 rows. If you do not find a spot or a person that falls into one of the "good scenarios" within that area...drive to the back of the lot and walk. Unless you have a sprained ankle or need to return a washing machine, walking is usually the best bet. You will be in the store and trying on that cute wedge in a size 8 before most idiots out in the lot put their car in "P".
Now that we have gone over the basics, here is where the real problem lies. The feeling of entitlement and ownership of "public space" in this country baffles me. How many times have you said (sometimes in nicer words than others), "HEY LADY, you took MY spot!". Not to sound like a 5-year old, but I have to ask...was your name on it? Nooooooo. What qualified that spot to be "yours"?
As I was inching down one of the rows in the parking lot at Kroger this afternoon, I followed the best scenario. A young guy was walking out with a case of beer (I guess that is a good scenario in more ways than one, but anyway). He was parked in the first spot next to a handicapped spot. I was driving toward the store, following him from the "front" if you will. I immediately put my turn signal on, and as he pulled out, a dark blue minivan turned the corner like a crazy mom out of a PTSA meeting, and slid into "my spot". No turn signal. No regard for the safety of shoppers. And certainly did not acknowledge me waiting and my intent to drive into the spot. I intentionally waited there until the driver got out of the van. "PSh. I thought to myself. You can have "my" spot. You AND your "I love my Pug" t-shirt. Loser. I felt better in knowing I was better than her in little ways, my car being one of them. Isn't it funny how we do that? If she was in a REALLY nice car, I would have said.."Who do you think you are? Just because you drive a Range Rover you think you own the lot?", opposed to, "Wow. You can take your old beat up Kia and HAVE my spot". I'm amazed with how angry I get when someone takes "my spot". But, what can you do? Chase her into the store like a crazy person, yelling foul words? Flick her off? Scowl at her? Honk your horn? I mean, right?
Kroger owns that space. While maybe 1/10th of a cent that you are spending on that half gallon of 2% may go to maintaining that "space"...it is far from "yours". Yes, I know you shop there every single Sunday, but again...NOT your space.
This phenomenon extends deeper into society then shopping malls and grocery stores. Private ownership of public space occurs at sporting events, movie theaters, planes, waiting rooms, casinos, and restaurants.
How many of us have asked a COMPLETE stranger next to us in Gate C15, "Hey, would you mind watching my stuff while I go to the restroom?". "Sure, no problem", they always say back. Why don't more people respond with, "I'm not so sure I feel comfortable to be responsible for your belongings while you pee". People leave the well-being of their laptops, carry on's, food, guitars, etc. in the hands of complete strangers! The ONLY thing you have in common with this person is your 5:44 flight from DTW to LGA. I mean, right?
What these people are "watching" is not necessarily just your copy of Cosmo or your Northface fleece.What they are doing, in essence, is holding "your" seat. Same with movie theaters. "You go get the popcorn and Sour Patch Kids and I will save you a seat". Seinfeld had a great episode on this...saving seats in theaters. What gives YOU the right to "hold" a seat for someone else and, furthermore, who decided that a jacket or sweater was the universally recognized garment for "occupied". Seats taken, can't sit here.
How about at bars. I was at Memphis Smoke last night, up on the roof. Place was PACKED. My group eyed the crowds and the picnic tables that were scattered around the patio. Most of these tables could comfortably sit 8, but many only had 3 or 4 people present. My sister looked at me and said..."Why don't we try to sit next to those guys. There are only two of them and they have that big table". It worked. They were cool about it, until our guy friends sat down. My sister's words? "Hey, do you guys mind sharing your table?". It's not THEIR table, though. I mean, right? They didn't pay for it. Did they make it? No.
Sporting events and concerts are no exception. You don't OWN that seat, you are simply "renting" it for an agreed amount of time and/or conditions. Usually, if it's reserved seating you are okay. General admission? Gooooood luck. There is essentially nothing stopping anyone from "taking" your seat. I don't care how many times your friend says, "she will be right back". Is this an American thing or a universal practice? I'm confused.
If it's an American thing, then I think we can guess where it originated from. By default I think "we" feel a sense of entitlement and/or ownership. The American "seat" was essentially already taken when the pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock. * I know the pilgrims were NOT the first people to "discover" America. For the sake of fluidity and argument, just go with it*. The Native Americans were just that...native (at least MORE native than those that followed). They had their jacket on the seat. The WHOLE lot was filled with their cars. I mean, right? Apparently, they were in a tow-away zone. Doesn't really seem fair, eh?
Or, maybe it's human nature to have the "mine" mentality. "That's MY seat. That's MY parking spot. That's MY table." What makes it yours? What are the terms of this temporary ownership?
Were we always like this? Will we change? Is this even a bad thing?
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